This is a very powerful topic. This is a topic that can trigger people. I believe that’s a good thing because that means it’s moving energy. If it feels fully comfortable throughout this entire topic, then likely you’re not being completely honest with yourself.
Let’s begin with an example. My daughter is almost two and my son is four and a half years old. I already see patterns in them. They are very loving and very sweet with each other most of the time. However, Patrick has pushed her a few times. My daughter Naeve is pretty powerful and will hold her own but when he pushed her, she cried. I will come into the room and invite them both to be loving and peaceful with each other. However, I have seen her start to cry when he walks by because she knows it will get attention. At her young age, she has already started to learn how to manipulate the system.
I also see it with my son at four and half. He has his own patterns too. Even at that young of an age, it can begin. Imagine year after year, experience after experience, how we can go further away from the truth of who we are. We are wired this way as a coping and survival mechanism.
Wherever you are in your life, give yourself the gift of being honest with yourself.
I was driving with my children and the story, Emperor’s New Clothes started playing. It’s about an emperor who loves fashion and clothes. These people in the town told him they would make him the most amazing gown he has ever seen, woven of gold, silver, and diamonds. They invited him to go see the progress but it was invisible thread. They were simply taking all of his money in gold, silver, and diamonds. Eventually, the emperor goes into public wearing the gown. A little boy then said, “That man’s naked!” However, the emperor was in so much denial that he went out wearing the invisible gown anyway; that’s how dishonest he was being with himself.
Think about this story. At certain stages, you may not truly know how honest or not you are being with yourself. It could be something as simple as telling yourself you will only have one cookie out of a pack of ten when you know that’s not the truth. Then it’s important to look deeper and ask yourself why you’re even having a whole pack of cookies or a whole bottle of wine rather than a glass? You’re probably trying to numb something where you are not being honest with yourself in the first place.
Areas of dishonesty may be a relationship that isn’t feeding or sustaining you, a career, or a habit with yourself. If you are lying or pretending that something works for you when it doesn’t, that is a lot of energy to be numbing.
How many people do you still have in your life because you think you should?
How many places do you go or how often do you hear yourself saying words but in your mind you’re questioning what you’re saying?
Do you know the difference between honesty and jealously?
Often times when we are feeling jealous and don’t want to admit it, we will push it down and pretend we are happy for the person or whatever the situation may be instead of being authentic, even if it’s just with yourself. Simply allow that energy to move through you.
Do you ever find yourself going around singing words of a song? Listen to the words. They will tell you a lot about how you really feel. There is such power in that.
Some ways you will know that you’re not speaking your truth include disharmony in relationships. This can be experienced on different levels from blatant disharmony or a sense that something is more subtly off. You might notice you create self-sabotaging situations.
I invite you to sit with this. What is your truth? Some days you may feel that your truth is really different than it was another day. For example, you may tackle a goal in your career and once you go for it, it ends up not working out. Notice if you then put yourself down and change your truth because it didn’t work or note that you are resilient and will keep moving towards your truth.
Reflect on who you share your truth with.
A way to tell that you are being truthful is that you feel peaceful because there isn’t disharmony.
Do you share your truth with those you need or only with certain people? Are you authentic? What are the thoughts that cycle in your head on a regular basis?
When you are feeling authentic and real, you have beautiful, harmonious relationships. Life feels like it’s flowing more. When things do come up, you utilize your tools to respond to them with confidence as you know what your core beliefs are. Do you allow yourself to sway easily or readily receive other’s perspectives to help reinforce your own? Are you often looking for validation outside of yourself? When you get really true with who you are, you don’t need that.
Come into your heart, and connect with that. You will have all the answers. If this is a lifetime of needing to not be honest with yourself, please give yourself time and patience to remove those layers.
For example, perhaps you are feeling insecure in your relationship. Ask yourself, aside from that person, what are you feeling insecure about?
Every decision, every place you go, any job you take, any friend, stop before you answer. Connect with your heart and higher self. Ask yourself what you truly want and need. If you feel a polarity that you need to or have to do something, reflect on what is behind it. Ask yourself who you may really be trying to please. Often times we learn how to act to please others, usually a parent from an early age. It is time to fully allow ourselves to take off the masks. Perhaps you don’t even know what’s under that mask. Give yourself that gift to know yourself more authentically.
Where is this lack of self-love coming from?
Where is the hurt?
Where is the pain?
The more honest we can be with ourselves, the more natural it becomes.
You have the choice to live as honestly with yourself as you can be. Take inventory of your life and relationships and note where there is disharmony. Go deep into those areas.
Where might you notice you are comparing yourself to others?
Where do you feel like you often get offended?
Which relationships leave you exhausted after spending time with them due to your own persona you maintain with them?
Who do you feel that you can’t fully be yourself around?
These are all signs that you are not being completely authentic with yourself. Once you’re able to shift this and every time thereafter, you’ll feel a deep sense of freedom. When we aren’t using energy by trying to be something that we aren’t, it gives us freedom to be ourselves. It doesn’t take any energy to be our greatest, most natural, true selves. It’s you expressing you.
Ask yourself, ‘Who Am I?” and write down what comes through. You will notice you may have to have some honest conversations with people. They may be uncomfortable but you know and trust it is for your highest good.